The House Finance Guy Game

The guy who helped us finance our home was a jackass. I would not recommend anybody ever work with him, ever. Once he’s got you by the metaphorical balls and time is ticking, it becomes a sliding scale as to whether you should cut and run vs sit it out. Having chosen the latter, we became accustomed to his bad behavior. Don’t like your finance guy? See how many points you can rack up using our system

  • Has a very small number (ideally three or fewer) jokes or puns that he uses every time you see him
    • bonus if they are not funny
    • double bonus if they are at your expense
  • Does not do anything unless you are on the phone with him
    • bonus if he does not answer the phone
    • double bonus when he finally does and he claims he was just about to call you
  • Loses things you recently gave to him
    • bonus if he thinks you never gave it to him
    • double bonus if he claims his desk/office/file is a “black hole”
  • Lacks insight into the processes which he, as a finance guy, is supposedly privy to
    • bonus if he blames the economy
    • double bonus if he harkens back to the good old days when it was easier
  • Considers himself charming while you consider him slimy
    • bonus if he reminds you of a used car salesmen
  • Bothers your in-laws
    • bonus if your MIL/FIL loses their temper with him
  • Can’t pronounce your last name
    • bonus if his secretary can’t either
  • Attempts to make insider references to your hometown
    • bonus if its a local bar
    • double bonus if that bar was super lame the last time you went
  • Asks to hear the story of how you met
    • bonus times each time he asks
  • Has a spouse and 4 offspring of a specific religion with a relatively small following
    • bonus every time he mentions them or the religion
    • double bonus if the kids are all the same gender

Rack em up!  What’s your score?

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