Things that I mutter or imagine to myself, instead of screaming them like I do in my imagination.
- [answering the phone] What? Whaaat? WHAAT? WHAT DO YOU WAAAANT?[hang up]
- Watch out! I am going to strike you with my vehicle.
- Can you read the SIGNS on the WINDOW? Return your keys NEXT DOOR! Oh, you didn’t SEE IT? I recommend not being on your cell phone when you are trying to run errands!
- I know you’re doing your job, but can you not use the leafblower right outside my window for 20 minutes, kthanksbye
- Whose dick do I have to suck to get any work done around here…
- For the last time, I am not sacrificing my left arm for this job.
- Okay, that’s it, I’ll burn down the building.
- [jerky karate moves, a la The Big Lebowski, against visitors to my office] I fuck you! I fuck you! I fuck you!
- Even though I don’t know you, sure you can keep your cooler full of god knows what under the couch in my office. No, don’t even bother saying hello or asking me if I mind… just say you’re putting it there and leave… that’s fine
- Oh, you’re firing me for my foul mouth? Well, guess what? The money doesn’t mean as much to me as the opportunity to recommend you go FUCK YOURSELF!