Pick Up Lines

Responding, Mars-style.

  1. I’m new in town and can’t find my way around; could I have directions to your place?  Walk in any direction you like. I’m homeless.
  2. I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.  [scanning room with eyes] I’ll say.
  3. I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you?  I just got out of an abusive relationship, I’m not looking for another one.
  4. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.  You must be racist…
  5. See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.  See my friend over there? He wants to know if you are going to interfere with my parole.
  6. What’s your name?  Married or maiden?
  7. You must be tired, you’ve been running through my mind all day.  I have a prosthetic leg.
  8. You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everybody we did it anyway.  You might as well buy me something, because while you’re sleeping I’m going to take your wallet anyway.
  9. Hey babe, do you know that my bedroom is soundproof?  What?
  10. Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash instead?  Cash. My boyfriend is getting us a taxi home.




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