An Unsatisfying Story With No Moral(e)

MarsIAm goes head to head with the Manager of the Apartment

MarsIAm: Hi Manager. Um, hello. Hi! HI!
Apartment Manager: Oh, hi [name of former roommate].
MarsIAm: Actually, it’s MarsIAm. Could I ask you a couple of questions?
Apartment Manager: (shifting weight to other foot) Well, actually-
MarsIAm: So, how’s it going?
Apartment Manager: Good actually, now that we got rid of [previous realty company]. Now that we’ve got XXX Realty, we’re going to be doing a lot better.
MarsIAm: I actually wanted to talk to you about the carport. I was keeping a couch for a friend over the summer, and a mini-fridge, and they just disappeared. I was wondering if you knew anything about it?
Apartment Manager: Oh, that was definitely [previous realtors]. I don’t know anything about it.
MarsIAm: Well, they are gone – should I just call them?
Apartment Magager: Yeah, you should call [previous assholes]. You could also talk to XXX Realty, as they have been in contact with them. I actually have to go, I’m bartending tonight-
MarsIAm: If you had given me the storage space you promised me when I moved in 2 years ago, I wouldn’t have had to keep it in the carport.
Apartment Manager: Well, we’ve been working on it- I’ll have to talk to you later.
MarsIAm: (annoyed) Okay, bye.

MarsIAm calls New Realtors
(phone rings indefiitely)

MarsIAm calls Previous Assholes
Previous Asshole: [Previous} Realty, [Asshole] speaking.
MarsIAm: Hi, I am a resident of XXXXX Apartments. I was keeping a couple of things in my carport over the summer, and I just noticed they are gone.
Asshole: (fake polite voice) Well, you aren’t allowed to keep things in your carport.
MarsIAm: I know, but since I still haven’t gotten the storage space I was promised, I had nowhere to put it.
Asshole: (getting annoyed) You should speak to your apartment manager.
MarsIAm: I did, they told me to speak to you. Did you throw them out?
Asshole: (annoyed) The managers informed you that you aren’t allowed to keep things down there.
MarsIAm: No, they didn’t.
Asshole: It’s in your lease, you can’t put anything there except for your car.
MarsIAm: No it isn’t! {NOTE TO READER: I have no idea whether this is true} You can’t just throw somebody’s stuff away without warning them.
Asshole: The managers were supposed to inform you.
MarsIAm: Well, they didn’t, and I expect to be reimbursed for what you esstentially stole from me. You destroyed my property.
Asshole: Well, I doubt that. I actually have to go – I will call you back tomorrow, okay?
MarsIAm: Okay, I’ll hear from you tomorrow.

This was a month ago. Still waiting.

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