Top Ten Drunken Ideas

Things that sound like a good idea when you’re under the influence, but aren’t

  1. Writing an email to someone about how they totally dissed you earlier tonight
  2. [accusingly] “Do you remember the time we made out at that party?”
  3. Even though you know in your heart of hearts you have certainly had enough and perhaps far too much, you can’t resist this bottle of wine because it is from NAPA, goddamnit, where the CLASSY shit comes from
  4. Asking a Cuban about how they feel about the relationship between Cuba and the United States
  5. Picture time! Pose for pictures people! [slosh] Hey, where did my camera go? Oh there it is… submerged in your beer. Heehee, that is no place for a digital camera!
  6. “If I ever accidentally get pregnant, I will just drink a ton til I miscarry! I will create a hostile environment of alcohol!”
  7. Despite never having visited the state, let alone the geographical region, insisting “Jersey sucks!”
  8. Let’s do Jacks! Jack Daniels and Jack… in the Box!
  9. Letting your drunk friend drive to Jack in the Box
  10. [while puking two tacos for $0.99 at 3:00 A.M.] At least I am losing weight, think to self enthusiastically

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