Worst.Taxi.Ride.Ever

Work scheduled: 1 – 5 pm
Auto body shop closes: 5:30 pm
Distance between work and body shop: 10 mi
Reasonable amount of time to drive: 20 min

TIMELINE
2:00 pm Call Yellow Cab, and ask for a cab to pick me up at 5:00 pm. Cab company complies, curtly.
5:00 pm Prompty walk out to street
5:10 pm Call to Yellow Cab
“Hello”
“Hi, I called earlier about a cab-”
“He’s on his way” [click]
5:13 pm Cab driver calls, asking for directions to me
5:16 pm Yellow car spotted coming my way
5:16:10 pm Yellow car has front passenger. Not the cab.
5:16:30 pm Yellow car IS cab, but has front passenger.
5:17 pm I climb in, giving specific instructions that I need to arrive at the auto body shop before it closes to pick up my car. I give him directions to the shop.
5:18 pm Driver and passenger ask me if I am a student, and other trivial questions. Turns up Wild 94.9 loud.
5:19 pm Driver’s cell phone rings; driver describes “beautiful girl” in backseat
5:20 pm Conversation ensues about evening plans
“The Glow [San Jose nightclub] is so sick. They are hella classy, they don’t let you in if you just wear a buttondown and long sleeves. You gotta look CLASSY or they will kick you out.”
Uh huh
“What are you doing tonight?”
It’s my friend’s birthday. I’m going into the city
“Oh yeah, how old is she?”
He is turning 24.
“Oh you have a crush on him, I know it!”
No…
“Yes you do!”
No, I have a boyfriend of 2 years.
“How old are you?”
5:22 pm Driver becomes lost
5:24 pm No longer lost
5:26 pm “So you like to go out? You like to back that ass up? I’m just playin'”
Yeah
“Do you have any single friends that want to come to the Glow tonight?”
No, they’re all coming with me.
5:28 pm Heading down Old Middlefield Way, I begin to hope we just might make it.
5:31 pm Driver realizes we are completely out of gas and DRIVES TO GAS STATION
5:32 pm I call auto body shop. They are closed. Passenger is sympathetic
5:35 pm Driver apologizes. I tell him he must drive me home.
5:36 pm Driver does not have any credit card slips. We must stop at ATM.
5:38 pm “So you like to back that ass up? I’m sorry, I’m just excited for tonight, I’m trying to get YOU excited”
It’s Friday.
Hell yeah! [begins rapping along with radio]
5:40 pm “So you do dance, right?”
Yes, I grew up dancing.
“What kind of dance do you do?”
I did tap, ballet, and hip hop.
“I can tell you got the body for it. We used to teach ballroom dance!”
[stifling disbelief] Really?
Passenger: I never taught. Dance helped me with my footwork for martial arts
“We used to teach rhumba, cha cha. Or we could just… waltz across the floor. You give me a call sometime if you want lessons”
[recalling 4 years of waltz lessons in college]
5:44 pm “Have you listened to the Koran?”
No
“Do you know what the Koran is?”
Do you mean the religious text?
Passenger: This guy, he doesn’t follow the Islamic lifestyle, but he can rap it.
[Driver starts rapping, I can’t tell if it is the Koran or just along with the radio]
5:48 pm Retrieve cash from ATM
5:50 pm I don’t think I should have to pay the full amount, because if you had come on time I wouldn’t have needed this extra ride.
“Don’t worry, I’ll hook you up”
5:54 pm Pull up to house. Meter reads $60.
Okay, how much?
“How much do you want to pay?”
[thinking] $40
“$40??!!”
You didn’t come on time or get me where I needed to be.
“That’s not my fault.”
I know, it’s the dispacher’s fault, but I can’t talk to him right now. Do you want me to call him up and yell at him?
“$45.”
I pay.
5:56 pm Sexually harassed, robbed, angry, and tired I enter the house. I go to call Yellow Cab.

PHONE CALL
Yellow Cab Man: Hello?
MarsIAm: Hi, I would like to speak to the manager.
YCM: How can I help you?
I relay entire story to him
YCM: What do you want me to do?
MIA: I would like a refund of $15. A one way ride should have cost me $30; the second trip was unnecessary and I shouldn’t have to pay for it.
YCM: There is nothing I can do.
MIA: Yes, there is, you can send me a check for $15.
YCM: I can’t do that.
MIA: Yes you can. Write me a check, put in an envelope, and put my address on the outside.
YCM: Write what check?
MIA: From the comany account.
YCM: We have no account. What account?
MIA: You are a BUSINESS. You pay BILLS. You have a LOCATION and a PHONE LINE YOU ARE USING RIGHT NOW TO SPEAK TO ME. You have a company account; please write me a check.
YCM: You got in the cab, you paid the money. My job is done. If the cab did not come I could give you money, but you already paid him. I can’t do anything.
MIA: Take it out of his paycheck and give it to me.
YCM: I can’t do that.
MIA: You owe me for the ride! A reasonable person would have arrived on time, would have known the way, would have had enough gas, and WOULD NOT HAVE HAD A FRIEND OR HAVE MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE SEXUALLY.
YCM: There is nothing I can do
MIA: I guess I will have to report you to the Better Business Bureau
YCM: You do whatever you have to do
MIA: I just want you to know this was the worst taxi experience OF MY LIFE [slam]

6:30 pm Complete online report to the BBB

Tags: taxi, Yellow Cab, Better Business Bureau.

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3 comments

  1. Carolyn

    holy shit dude–that sounds horrible šŸ˜¦
    i can’t believe how totally crazy people are.
    ~Carolyn
    p.s. how are you otherwise? send me an email šŸ™‚

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