You Fail

People and Institutions Who Get an F+* from Mars

  1. Radiology coordinator: for screaming at me
  2. Punishment: principal’s office/head of department giving her talking to

  3. Wells Fargo: for taking $1-15/month over five years, which I will never see again
  4. Punishment: embarassment in front of peers

  5. Previous dentist: for not doing a good enough job on my filling
  6. Punishment: see me after class

  7. My M19: for taking advantage of his inadequacy
  8. Punishment: write 10 times – cavities are all my fault

  9. Cranky boobs: for bitching about quitting smoking
  10. Punishment: tape mouth shut

  11. Korean scientist: for screwing things up for stem cell researchers everywhere
  12. Punishment: expulsion

  13. GME coordinator: for breaking your word and mailing me my requested materials 2 weeks late, on the day of my deadline
  14. Punishment: clap erasers after school

  15. My apartment managers: for not dealing with the flood in the garage, my broken towel rack, and my window screen
  16. Punishment: help janitor amend such items

  17. My toilet: for backing up on Christmas Eve
  18. Punishment: still a toilet

  19. Dell: for being incompetent
  20. Punishment: write me 100 emails apologizing for bad customer service

    *F+ is a special grade that indicates that while you might think of yourself as good because in some tiny aspect, you are helpful, you in fact suck.

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2 comments

  1. Pingback: MarsIAm » Blog Archive » And The Winner Is… Science

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