I’m Gonna Have You Naked By The End Of This Post

Top Ten Worst Songs To Have Sex During
Two Part Answers
Reasons pertain to musicality and content
1. Raffi – Baby Baluga
A Children’s music: standard no-no for listening, let alone love making
B Raises topic of babies

2. Queen – We Are The Champions
A May be interpreted as overcompensation for personal inadequacy
B Too slow

3. Spooky Sounds For Halloween
A Why is the only music you own a seasonal tape you bought at Kmart?
B Erratic noises distracting

4. N.W.A. – F*** tha Police
A Too angry
B Too eighties

5. Blue Danube Waltz
A Too bright and energetic
B Can you fuck in 3/4? No? Okay then

6. Star Wars Theme
A Too loud
B Too nerdy

7. U of M Marching Band – Let’s Go Band
See number 6

8. A**l C**t – Technology Is Gay
A Band, song title make people uncomfortable
B Lots of screaming and crashing

9. Carole King – Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
A May bring unplesant conversation to light
B Waaay too slow

10. Pulp Fiction Soundtrack – Royale With Cheese
A Actually I take it back
B Samuel L. Jackson is the pansexual for those of us with discriminating taste.


  1. Andy

    Not to mention: the Samuel L. Jackson is the cocktail for those of us with discriminating tastes. Behold:

    • One (1) cup black coffee
    • One (1) shot Tanqueray gin
    • One (1) green olive, stuffed with pimiento

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