I usually don’t post on the weekend, but the past 36 hours have been just bizarre enough to incite an inspiring true story, as titled above, in a made-for-TV Lifetime movie.
I return from work as usual… eat some leftover hamburger helper, then apple slices dipped in chocolate whipped cream, watch a rerun of Friends, and leave to see The Peet perform in a wushu extravaganza.
I greet Mr and Mrs Peet in the parking lot, and meet The Peet’s main squeeze in a ridiculously long line. Sonejid meets up with us shortly thereafter – we get seats back center and prepare for an evening of the art of Wushu.
How long is this thing???
“Iron Crotch” did not perform any crotch stunts, but he
1 Painted a painting while standing on eggshells
2 Broke some chain wrapped around his chest while playing the flute
3 Bent a very sturdy looking piece of pipe in half
Iron Crotch’s son broke some concrete with his hand.
The show is over, my head is aching. I congratulate the Peet, pick up my main squeeze, and head home.
I feel queasy. I go pee, then go lie down.
I still feel queasy. I throw up said meal. The kind of throwing up that makes tears run down your face.
I feel cured and go to sleep. Main squeeze is very understanding and not completely grossed out.
I awake. Shoot the breeze with main squeeze.
I enter the shower
I exit the shower, and notice that the toilet seems overly full. I decide to brave it and flush
HUGE MISTAKE!!! Toilet water spewing everywhere and I’m naked! Help!
I run into bedroom and throw clothes on. Main squeeze starts bailing toilet into bathtub. I start throwing towels, dirty jeans, old dorm T shirts down.
I run up to the manager’s apartment and tell them what’s going on. They already know; they’re about to go turn the water off.
Water stops spewing – bathroom is 1 inch deep in water and carpet outside is soaked.
First we use all the paper towels left in the house. Then we use most of the toilet paper. I find an old couch cover to use. That isn’t enough, so I make a decision. I decide to sacrifice some brand new sheets that were still in their packaging. This seems to help. Soak soak soak.
I am satisfied with the carpet not being completely soaking disgusting.
I wash my hands with a ton of soap and water. I have nothing to wipe them on. I use my jeans.
I make breakfast, but first I must wash the dishes so that I can dry them. I have nothing to wipe the pan dry with. I use toilet paper.
I take main squeeze home.
I pick up Maximus from boarder – Bang will be home later today, but not in time before the boarder closes.
Carpet cleaning people show up. Start sucking water out of my carpet.
I throw sopping towels, jeans, etc into washer.
Carpet guy hauls out water vaccuum, is bringing deodorizing equipment.
I want to put items into dryer. I am short 1 quarter.
Carpet guy has quarter.
I sit down to blog. My headache is returning. Ai yah.