Top 5 things your grandma told you which are true versus Top 5 things the grocery checker told you which are not true
Never stop learning v. Never stop eating
Wisdom comes with age v. Cheez whiz ages well
These are the best years of your life v. These are the years of hell you’ll romanticize later
You can’t make someone change – they have to want to change v. I don’t make change at my register
Haste makes waste v. Hurry, this deal ends today!
Top 5 ways that Grandma and the checker agree
The best things come along when you’re least expecting it v. You saved 10% today!
Hard work brings its rewards v. You are just $30 away from earing your first free sandwich
Nothing is for free/Caveat emptor v. This shit ain’t free but it comes with a free nail file
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch v. We don’t deliver after 6 pm
Treat others how you want to be treated v. I will be right with you