Pop Quiz!

That’s right. I don’t want to hear any grumbling, I mean it. Close your books and place your notes under your chair. Calculators put away, Kel. No, Bang, you may not use a 3×5 index card for reference. If you need to use the sharpener… the Peet! Sleeves down!… do it now. Reverend, you may use the restroom after the quiz unless it’s an emergency. Anyone else? Good.
Name: _______
Room #: _______

True or False
1. Safe sex is the sexiest sex.
2. Folgers is the best part of waking up.
<3. A man’s trash is sacred.

Multiple Choice
4. I was born
a. yesterday
b. on a pirate ship
c. under a rock
d. none of the above
e. all of the above

5. The symbol of our country (is)
a. a flag
b. cannot just be a flag
c. Michael Moore
d. b and c
e. a and c

6. We have nothing to fear except
a. fear itself
b. Pope Benedict XVI
c. bats! eeeeeeee!
d. Cats The Musical
e. reruns of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’

7. Please read the following carefully
I Der Präsident ist tot
II Sic transit gloria
III Ménage à trois
IV Dove la spiaggia
V Se llama ‘bullshit’

a. I and II
b. I, II, and V
c. I, IV, and V
d. II, III, and V
e. II, IV, and V

Five minutes everbody… til the big hand is on the 4.

Short Answer

8. Describe difference between flammable and inflammmable.
9. Give who, what, when, where why for the following quote: “That is the rabbit.”
10. Do you like me? (circle one) YES NO

Time’s up. Please pass your quizzes forward.



  1. Kel The Younger

    God, calculators are so useless in upper division courses. I miss trig…

    Name: Kel
    Address: 1600 Bitch Street

    1. F. Post-marital sex is sexiest.
    2. F. Realizing I’m a day closer to finishing my f-ing degree and finally having time to look for a wife is the best part.
    3. I don’t like trash. I like clean.

    4. c
    5. b
    6. b (Bats are cool, “Memories” is beautiful, and Ray is quite amusing)

    [Psst! PT! What did you put for…]

    Oh hey Mars! Um, no, I wasn’t cheating! [continues test]

    7. Fortuna fortes adiuvat!

    8. Yesterday, I was flammable. Today, I am inflammable

    9. Either Alice in Wonderland or Monty Python…isn’t Alice in Wonderland supposed to be a symbolic attack on royalty or something? Did you know The Wizard of Oz is actually metaphor for the conversion to the gold standard after the Civil War? (I’m shooting for extra credit here…)

    10. I do not like you. I love you. You already know that though…is this a trick question…???


  2. Grace

    Name: Grace
    Room#: 88

    True or False

    1. F
    2. F
    3. F

    Lies! All lies!

    Multiple Choice

    4. b. & c. I was born under a rock on a pirate ship of yesteryear (1917)

    5. d. our country is exactly like Michael Moore — self-righteous, loud, and really fat

    6. d. + Pachelbel, I hate that shit
    [+doodles] Rrrrratzingah! bzzing! bzzing!

    [Mine eyes will roam like my attention, pthbbffft, I don’t need another degree.]

    7. I, III, and V, but all’s I know is you said something about Al Prasidanta
    also, quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur — pthbbffft, kel

    [I think slo; does that count as a learning disability?]

    Short Answer
    8. Flammable things get flamed; inflammable things get inflamed.
    9. The lamb, to the guinea pig, at the petting zoo, at dinner.
    10. You are my fi-yuh.

    [I totally aced this shit.]

  3. Kel The Younger

    Ms. Marisa Teacher Lady? [raises hand] If Grace kicked my ass on this thing – like she probably did in allllll the math classes we ever both took – do me a favor and keep it between the both of ya. 😉

    Actually, if she did, flunk her and scribble, “THIS IS WAFFLE!” all over her pages!!! Grrr!

    [breathes with rapid stresses] Grace kicked my ass again…this is waffle…

    But at least I am profound!! Ha!

  4. GyangBang

    Um, I can’t take this test. B/c see, I have this thing to do somewhere thats important and stuff. Oh no! my sickle cell is acting up. I’m going to the nurse. Bye everyone! Good luck! 😉

  5. Peetie

    Name: The Peet
    Room #: 002

    1. T, because it is less taxing on the conscience and to do things with science is inherently sexy, according to Euler???
    2. F, going back to sleep after waking up is the best part.
    3. F, only God’s trash is sacred.
    4. d
    5. c
    6. d & e
    7. c
    8. Flammable and inflammable are actually the same thing in the presence of oxygen…?
    9. who: the rabbit, what: the rabbit, when: the rabbit, where: the rabbit, why: the RABBI
    10. If you can’t tell, then you don’t deserve to know.

    [I did not cheat by looking at Kel’s test. His answers were wrong, so I did my own thinking. But this was a hard test, and I think you should definitely curve it a lot.]

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