Either you are… or you are…

  • hiding a single deuce behind your back… hiding this cake I made for Strong Sad.
  • in love with me for sentimental reasons… in love with me for hidden ulterior motives.
  • Alex Trebec… a big jerk off show off.
  • playing a sick joke on me… succumbing to my immeasurable charms.
  • keeping a sock filled with jello in your pocket… happy to see me.
  • a wise man… a fool [wiser than the wise man].
  • trying to tell me we have less than 9 months to find a crib… going back to Jenny Craig.
  • too full to eat another bite… taunting me with that Tender Crispy Bacon Cheddar Ranch thing.
  • finally serious about settling down and brought me flowers… horny as hell and thought I would be overpowered by their noxious perfumes.
  • Santa Claus… Hitler.
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