Women: Have Some F—ing Class

After reading this garbage for the past couple of days, I am filled with an urge to track down these girls* and tell them a thing or two. Without further adieu, women of the world, here are 5 steps to having some F-ing class.

1. Don’t dress like a prostitute. Sounds obvious, right? Don’t wear a habit, but for the love of cheese, don’t go naked. Wear a skimpy top with pants. Combine revealing and outrageous with modest and natural. You don’t freeze, you don’t boil.

2. Don’t act like an idiot. Don’t talk about money, don’t be catty, act alive and interesting. Use your vocabulary, ask questions and listen to the answers. Have some damn personality.

3. Don’t date assholes, and don’t give them second chances. Someone who doesn’t respect women sure is hell isn’t going to respect you! You’re worth more than that! If the asshole claims reformation, don’t jump back in with them. The asshole has to earn a second chance, showing strong morals and manners and treating you how every woman deserves.

4. Don’t overdo it. Drink moderately. Speak at a normal volume. That goes for your make-up too.

and finally, it comes to this


5. Don’t give a beej on the first date. Ever. Ever.
You can say what you like about leaving him wanting more, but real the question is, would he do it for you? On the first date? Doubtful. Save it for when he’s going to reciprocate.

* I have actually decided that this is not a blog at all but fiction. I would like to believe that no women would be quite this godawful… but I know they are out there.

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2 comments

  1. The Good Reverend

    The bolding helps. It’s like when they tell you that if you are going to give a speech, try to just memorize seven words and then speak naturally, rather than memorizing the whole thing. So I can keep track of this: Prostitute, idiot, assholes, overdo, beej.

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